Monday, December 19, 2005


I'm hoping to update my blog with pictures from our anniversary weekend-o-fun (Dec. 4th was 1 year). I'm posting right now to get away from the OSHA website of horror. We're starting to draw blood at our office after the first of the year, and I feel we should have posters concerning needle and bloodborne pathogen safety. That website has sucked the life out of me.

I'm feeling kind of strange about something that's been on my mind off and on for several months, and I've not gained any it's still on my mind. I briefly posted about a woman that was mad about me "dating" her boyfriend while she was in a committed relationship with him. I was unaware of the state of this committed relationship and when I suspected there was an actual girlfriend, I ended my involvement with this person. I say I posted briefly about it because I ranted about it when I was upset, and later took it down because I don't want this ugly situation to define who I am through my blog entry. I DO NOT hook up with dudes with girlfriends, and I hate the fact that it happened...but there was a second, and quite frankly, guiltier party involved.

So the issue now is that this woman is publicly talking about the situation, as well as having intense one-on-one conversations about it and it's affecting my relationships with other women. On the one hand, if someone that I've been friends with for years decides this changes how they feel about me, I'm lucky to have found this out. On the other hand, I don't know that I'm being painted in an accurate light by the woman scorned.

I understand the anger that goes along with being cheated on, and I understand her frustration that me and the cheater in question were still friends. My feelings about being made a villain have really soured me on my friendship with the dude, and we've slowly drifted apart...although I have to tell you that I was pretty upset and hurt that he'd lied to me about something so big. Over time I started feeling like the friendship was based on more lies than honesty and it made it feel unhealthy.

So anyway, I'm not going to tell her mutual friends how I feel, either privately or publicly, but I need to gain acceptance and know that those that truly care about me still will. And to be COMPLETELY honest, the people that HAVE acted clearly different weren't close to me and didn't know me anyway.

What I REALLY want out of all this is for her to find peace with the fact that I don't want her boyfriend, and that sometimes karma has a funny way of biting you in the ass.


Blogger Duane Westhoff said...

It never ceases to amaze me how women will attack "the other woman" when it's their boyfriend/man who is at fault. If anything, the two of you should be joining in solidarity to say "That Bastard Plays Us!" Whether you dated a married man or a taken man and knew it or didn't, the obligation was on the man to draw the boundaries. So don't be so hard on yourself.

10:41 PM  
Blogger elanflux said...

Hey Hot stuff! You pretty much know where I stand on this issue, but I thought I'd let the world know (Your blog world, that is). This chic is insane to continue a relationship with said 'friend'. She is taking her ill-feelings toward him out on you. I agree with Duane, regardng who is really to blame. I truly believe she knows this, is to ashamed to admit it, and has self esteem issues that keep her in this situation. She is projecting, to avoid looking with-in. As for him,I think he got a kick out of the tension. And for you little missy, I think this person that has began to treat you differently is missing out. I feel sorry for her, your a treasure to know. I agree that you should let it be, in the end she will see (wow, I'm a poet...a bad one, but poet non the less!). You have nothing to prove, therefore nothing to keep going on and on and on and on it?

1:18 PM  

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