Satan is My Motor...

When I wake up in the morning I'm not always of sound mind. I can have perfectly good intentions and my well-conceived plans go to crap as soon as the alarm goes off.

For instance (ok, not for instance, this entry is mostly about this instance), I go to the gym in the mornings to conserve time because I'm very important. Well, not so much important, as I really want to do other things after work, such as eat, hang out with friends, see my boyfriend, sit on my couch and watch CSI marathons, etc.

If I were to follow this plan and wake up every morning at 5:45, be at the gym by 6:30 am, in the showers by 8 am, and at work by 9 am, I would be a goddess. My legs and arms would be sinewy and my stomach would be rippled and strong. As it stands, the last couple months I've made it 50% of the time. So, my arms and legs are nicely toned, my stomach defined, and my shoulders strong. I am not a Hawaiian Tropics model, but I look pretty good. There are two main obstacles to this plan. 1. I've recently fallen in love with a delightful boy and would rather wake up with him and do the whole giggling at private jokes in bed and eat breakfast together, and 2. My mind does this strange thing where it tries to rationalize and talk me out of going to the gym.

My alarm goes off and the first thing I think is, "gosh, I'm awefully sore from yesterdays workout. I really don't want to push it too far". I hit snooze and sleep for 9 more glorious minutes. When the alarm goes off again I have a new reason...a new personality has taken over trying to blow my plans to be a goddess. "Ok, so if I go in to work at 8 am instead of 9 am, I can take a 2 hour lunch and work out then. Wait, I've got a meeting that will conflict with that...zzzzz". Too late, I've already hit snooze again and the next 9 minutes are heaven. Beep, beep, beep. The process has been going on for a while and it's now 6:18 am (I'm not really sure what time it is because I set my clock 10 minutes fast so I trick myself into being early, when really what happens is I recalculate the time).

Now is when I enter hyperdrive. I spring out of bed, put in my contacts, take my ritalin (for real, and trust me, I need it), put on my workout clothes, grab my lunch, gymbag, sometimes my laptop, shower stuff (all laid out by the door to avoid confusion...except the lunch, that's in the fridge) and purse. I get in my car and make it to the gym by 6:45 am. I feel exhausted after mentally working against myself for the first 30 minutes of my day. A banana revitalizes me and I have a great workout. I'm still getting to the gym enough to feel good about myself and that seems to count for something. Do I really want or need to be a goddess anyway...it seems like I'm not properly equipped to handle the power associated with it.