Monday, April 11, 2005

Aim for Sparkly

I feel jittery from drinking too much coffee. Why do I do this to myself? I don't really like coffee, I need so much sugar that I get all jacked up, and this level of sugar is sure to push me into early onset diabetes.

I feel a little sad. When I feel less than bubbly and sparkly, I have few options to bring me can be that vice. In years past, I used to use the occasional cigarette, but that makes me feel sick and very guilty (I have a weak respiratory feels irresponsible to knowingly put smoke and chemicals in my body...and it makes me smell bad).

A friendly voice on the other end of the telephone can be a healthy way of making my day brighter. Most people can be that friendly voice, so why do I call those who are consistently incapable of it? I guess I want to believe that things can change (definition of insanity: Repeating the same thing and expecting different results).

When I'm excited and happy, an uncaring or snappy response can be the thing to knock me down a little. I get excited very easily, I love to share that excitement with others, some people do not catch the excitement, it makes them go to a place of resentment and insecurity. If I feel on fire with delight, it makes sense that if that seems to make someone unhappy, it takes something from that delight.

I want to share my happiness with those I care about. I want them to be happy, even if they're happier than me.

What I'm grateful for today:
1. My Blue Bondage Bunny
2. Music that makes my heart hurt, especially Massive Attack and Nina Simone
3. Spring
4. Our peat pellets with plants springing to life
5. My day went very quickly
6. I have many people in my life that care about me
7. My dishes are done
8. Being able to turn off the ringer on my cell phone
9. Smiling easily
10. A good nights sleep

Enjoy your day, make the most of everything you do, don't worry about how it will impact other peoples days (unless by making the most of everything you do, you're perpetrating that case, try to focus on being less steps). Learn new things, care for that sparkly voice on the other end of the phone.


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