Guided Meditation

At our work staff meeting today, we had a gentleman come in and guide us through a meditation (I guess we seem to be overly stressed out). I found it slightly awkward to have my eyes closed in a room with my co-workers. We're on the 7th floor and had all the windows wide open...I kept expecting a pigeon to come shuffling in...as they've been known to do in the past.

Ok, so we're breathing in...and breathing out...and focusing on the noises...the sirens, the helicopter, the constuction...and pay attention to your feet. By this time, a staff member had begun snoring. Not little sniffles or gasps, but gurgling, snorting...I needed to focus. I REALLY needed to relax, do - not - laugh (my mother and I have a tendency to laugh in extremely inappropriate situations...usually when we're together. If she'd been there, it would have been over. I would have laughed until I'd cried).

I'm focusing, breathing, I'm conscious of my feet, my calves, my thighs, my genitals...WHAT?!? My genitals? Really? In all the yoga and meditation I've done, never have I heard genitals. Pelvis, yes. But that word doesn't evoke snickering like a 12-year-old, or like me (or my mother, for that matter).

After the meditation, we did a breathing exercise that involved our guide showing us his arm pits, as well as his sweat rings. We lifted our arms quickly while breathing in...and pull those arms down!! Come on...exhale hard while you do it.

Our guide, getting into the exhale, expelled all the contents of his nose. I think I've written enough about this.