Hotline Perverts

I hate it when I answer the hotline at work (AIDS/STD Helpline) and one of our repeat "pervs" is on the other line. They usually don't try to disguise their voices, and usually start with the same cover story.

We answer the phone with genuine concern, usually while multi-tasking to frantically meet our CDC deliverables...and then we have to decifer whether the call's legit or not. I answer the questions they ask when in doubt of their validity. I also answer VERY technically...discussing syphilis chancres isn't as hot if it sounds like a science lesson (ok, when is it EVER hot?!?!?!). As soon as I can tell we're not really talking about HIV/STD prevention anymore, but specific and graphic sex acts (or I hear rustling around and heavy breathing), I find a way to cut them off and get off (not pun intended...heehee) the call.

I think they envision a whole call center of unsuspecting operators...when in actuality it's four of us...and I'm the only girl.

Please don't call.