Wednesday, April 26, 2006

First Day of Class

My first day of Kaplan Law School Admissions Test (LSAT) Prep started last night.

I rushed straight from work only to be told that it would begin at 6 pm and not I had some time. I noticed a 20-something-frat-boy-looking character getting out of a Tahoe and decided I needed to flee the scene (no offense to anyone who happens to be a 20-something-frat-boy-looking character...but my baby brother happens to fit that description. I was now in a class with someone that reminds me of another someone whose diaper I changed. So wrong.).

I went to Walgreen's and walked around, chatted with my mom on my cell phone, bought a book of crosswords (easy addition...I REALLY don't need anything added to my life that may not make me feel smarter), bought candy...and headed back. I should also mention that I bought Rolaids because I had heartburn from anxiety. I never have any gastro-intestinal distress, but I had some chest pain I tell ya.

So before I go into what happened at the class, allow me to outline my concerns going in.

The first and most obvious concern is that the class is from 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm every Tuesday and Thursday, with 10 hours of homework each week. Plus, I work a full-time job where I just received additional duties.

Another concern is that I was never a good student. I got good grades and was usually on the honor roll...but good grades does not equal a good student. I didn't do homework or study. I was sassy, disrespectful and unruly. I was accused of being disorganized and lazy. At the time, females with good grades were not diagnosed with ADD because we often lack the hyperactivity seen in boys. I assure you, in lieu of hyperactivity, was lethargy, glassy-eyed stares, and lots and lots of attitude. My parents and teachers had NO CLUE that I had/have a cognitive disability. I'm just thankful I stumbled my way to college graduation without dropping out.

Most of my current anxiety has been from looking back at my earlier school performance. At the beginning of each semester of every single grade, I swore to myself that I'd apply myself. I would do all my homework, read what I was suposed to, and study. I had these hopeful images of doing all these things and making everyone proud. The first day of class came and went, and I succeeded. The second day...and I'm off doing something more interesting.

Why would this class be different? Had I changed? Could I discipline myself this time?

As a matter of fact, things have changed. I'm focused and passionate about going to law school, I paid a lot of money for the class (and I don't like spending money...unless it's on beads or candy), and I don't party anymore.

Back to the class...

I am the oldest person in there. I am older than the teachers. But I don't think anyone really noticed because, in my opinion, I dress younger than everyone (wait, is that a good or bad thing? Am I the creepy old lady? Hmm, must ponder these questions and perhaps perform an impromptu focus group with the baby bro to seek his opinion).

We took a diagnostic LSAT, to kind of see where we're at. It went fine (I hate tests), but we lost one during the break. She picked up her stuff, walked to the front desk, and asked for her money back because she didn't want to take a test every week. And then there were six.

All in all, it seems like it's going to suck really bad. But I think it's worth it. I'm determined to break these bad school habits, but I need some help...and darn it, those young whipper-snappers at Kaplan are just the kids to help!


Blogger Stephen (aka Q) said...

I can relate! I returned to university in my mid-30s. I struck up a conversation with the person next to me, and somehow it came out that I had graduated from high school in 1987.

She blanched. "1987?" (It probably came as a surprise to her, because I have always looked younger than my age.) "In 1987, I was … let me see … I was in Grade One."

Ouch. Grandpa will try not to nod off and start snoring during the lecture.

I can also relate to your school history (though without the ADD). Zero effort, good grades.

When I returned to university, it was a choice, and I was studying something that I wanted to study. That made a huge difference in my study habits.

1:31 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

I'm hoping that will be the case with me as well...if I'm choosing and going to great lengths to go back to school, I'll be more invested.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with 'q'. Choosing classes that pique your interests makes all the difference. Enjoy your classes and don't worry about not being perfect with them. It's supposed to be about learning. If you already knew all the stuff and made 100s on every test, where's the challenge? Good luck and have fun!!


2:34 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Hey Frenchy!

Nice to see you on my blog. You KNOW some of the issues I'm scared of having. I think you're right, being all classes that hold my interest will make a HUGE difference.

2:38 PM  

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