Monday

I'm hoping to update my blog with pictures from our anniversary weekend-o-fun (Dec. 4th was 1 year). I'm posting right now to get away from the OSHA website of horror. We're starting to draw blood at our office after the first of the year, and I feel we should have posters concerning needle and bloodborne pathogen safety. That website has sucked the life out of me.

I'm feeling kind of strange about something that's been on my mind off and on for several months, and I've not gained any closure...so it's still on my mind. I briefly posted about a woman that was mad about me "dating" her boyfriend while she was in a committed relationship with him. I was unaware of the state of this committed relationship and when I suspected there was an actual girlfriend, I ended my involvement with this person. I say I posted briefly about it because I ranted about it when I was upset, and later took it down because I don't want this ugly situation to define who I am through my blog entry. I DO NOT hook up with dudes with girlfriends, and I hate the fact that it happened...but there was a second, and quite frankly, guiltier party involved.

So the issue now is that this woman is publicly talking about the situation, as well as having intense one-on-one conversations about it and it's affecting my relationships with other women. On the one hand, if someone that I've been friends with for years decides this changes how they feel about me, I'm lucky to have found this out. On the other hand, I don't know that I'm being painted in an accurate light by the woman scorned.

I understand the anger that goes along with being cheated on, and I understand her frustration that me and the cheater in question were still friends. My feelings about being made a villain have really soured me on my friendship with the dude, and we've slowly drifted apart...although I have to tell you that I was pretty upset and hurt that he'd lied to me about something so big. Over time I started feeling like the friendship was based on more lies than honesty and it made it feel unhealthy.

So anyway, I'm not going to tell her mutual friends how I feel, either privately or publicly, but I need to gain acceptance and know that those that truly care about me still will. And to be COMPLETELY honest, the people that HAVE acted clearly different weren't close to me and didn't know me anyway.

What I REALLY want out of all this is for her to find peace with the fact that I don't want her boyfriend, and that sometimes karma has a funny way of biting you in the ass.

Double Standard

I read two stories today on CNN.com that both grossed me out, but they raised the glaring double standard of how sexual assault is viewed in the U.S.

The first story described a 37-year-old woman who became pregnant by her, I guess you'd call him her boyfriend, who's 15-years-old. They live in Georgia, and the state law reads that people of any age may wed if one of the partners is pregnant. It was a law enacted in the 60's in efforts to prevent children born out of wedlock. The woman claims that she married him so the baby has his name, and because she wants to build a life with him. She was arrested on November 8th (after their wedding), with her pleading that he pursued HER, that he was not a victim in the situation, and that she typically prefers older men.

The second scenario is of a 22-year-old man who took his 14-year-old bride across Nebraska state lines into Kansas (where there is no minimum age to marry with parental consent) and married her. He'd apparently had a relationship with her since she was 12!! He was arrested and could get 50 years in prison.

The story about the woman in Georgia didn't say how much time she'd get, but it sounded like it was minimal...especially considering the man in NE could get 50 years. Mary Kay Latournou (if you check a past blog entry of mine, you'll see that she sickens me to my very core...and the idea that she got paid for an interview about her wedding about made me toss my Oreos...ah, Oreos) got probation, then only 7 years when she got pregnant by her junior high romeo a second time.

Not that I think either crime is worse, and I say crime whether the kids were consenting or not, because adults are suposed to make more mature decisions. Whether the kids thought it was a good idea or not, their judgement isn't fully developed and these adults have got to KNOW it's wrong to have sex with a 12-year-old. I'm wondering if men are penalized harsher because penetration is involved. The act of penetrating may seem more violating than an older woman coercing a child to penetrate her.

Why is it worse for men to have sex with kids. Either way, it's still about power...because I can't imagine what their conversations are like.

(As a side note, my little brother is 22-years-old and I couldn't POSSIBLY imagine having sex with someone even a couple years older than him. And that's legal.)

Victory is Mine!

Me and my crew were in phlebotomy training this week. I really didn't want to stick anyone with a needle, much less extract blood from them.

The training was two days long. I should mention that I became a little faint when I was just palpating my own vein. The first day was lecture, and it didn't seem real that we actually had to follow up with puncturing someone's vein...especially after we discussed legal issues and possible nerve damage.

After day one, C and I came back to the office to practice on each other. We felt it would be better to fail in the company of each other, instead of the whole class. We got the gear out (I must say he did it reluctantly...there was a certain amount of coercion...with him saying, "No, I really don't want to do this," me, "Yes, we're doing this, get over here".

He palpated my vein, put alcohol on it...and we both jumped back at the same time, in unison, "I can't do this!". We had not completed our mission and knew that we had to do it in front of everyone tomorrow.

We got to the training and my hands were sweating. Not only did I NOT want a first time phlebotomist sticking me, I wanted to do it to someone else even less.

One of my co-workers sat down and rolled up his sleeve, "Ok Carolyn, let's go". I felt a little ill. I felt for his vein and got nervouse because I couldn't SEE it. I realize it's by feel, but I'd really like a little visual assistance. He gave me some helpful direction, "Left, back a little, ok, there".

I jabbed, stuck the vaccutainer into the tube holder and his blood came shooting out, just as it was suposed to. I pulled it out and stood back. He looks at me..."Um, I still have a tourniquet on". I leap forward to take it off and nearly stab him with the needle. NEARLY. I would consider it more of a disaster if I'd actually violated him post-stick...but I NEARLY did it. He said it was painless, and he didn't have any bruising.

After my victory, I offered up my vein to my partner in crime from the previous attempt at the office. He performed his stick flawlessly...and I almost passed out. With all the excitement, I ended up lying on the ground with my feet elevated.

They (and by they, I mean everyone) says that the first stick is the hardest. Once you get that out of the way it gets easier all the time.

So, who's next?

This is the beginning of the Boyfriend's birthday night out. This picture is cute of him, creepy of me, but I wanted a picture to open up this series of posts. I look a little crazy. But I also like that the necklace that E made me shows pretty well in this picture (the glass pendant around my neck...it really MADE the outfit). We went to Jimmie's on the Park for dinner (it was EXCELLENT). Then we went to Sasha's for drinks. My friends M and Z (who are married) don't drink either, so we drank so much Red Bull you'd have thought we'd smoked crack. I had a really good time, and so did the Boyfriend.  

When we got to the wine bar after dinner, there was a "Reserved for Chim Chim" sign on the table (that's the Boyfriend's nickname). The group decided that now that we got the prime table...I was the next thing he needed. Incidentally, he thinks he's not very photogenic (and it's true, when people meet him they always remark at how he looks different, then tells me behind his back that he's hot in person...which I wholeheartedly agree with), but I love the way he looks in the background of this picture. 

After the "Reserved for Chim Chim" shot, the sign was changed and I was apparently "Preserved for Chim Chim". 

The birthday boy! Better known as the boyfriend. He's had a couple cocktails here and was giggling for most of the night. Each of us got our turn to pose with the hat...I'm not sure how it started...but I felt like I should publish all of them.  

My hat shot. Up close, I have very apparent crow's feet. Besides that, I don't mind this picture. 

S, our server and friend had to take a stab with the hat too. He was being pretty crabby and I was a little surprised he stopped long enough for us to take it. 

Pickle looks a little like a Leprechaun in this photo. There was another one of him, but he's smiling here and I like it. 

Z looking like a model in the hat. That boy can take a picture! 

M in the hat. Both she and her man CANNOT take a bad picture.

L in the hat. He's very photogenic. It seems a little too planned out... 

B's turn in the hat...she added the scarf as an extra accessory...always has to be different. 

H in the infamous hat. Every single person...must..wear..the..hat... 

L and B posing for the camera.  

We dubbed this picture of B as "Eyes and Boobs". That was pretty much all you could see of her. Now, if people would just pose pretty for the pictures...they wouldn't end up in this predicament.  

Me drinking from the gigantic glass-o-Red Bull. It was a miracle the birthday boy didn't knock it over! 

Need more Red Bull! 

M with the enormous glass of Red Bull. It looks like an optical illusion...but that glass was huge! 

Me and M. We took this ourselves and were pretty happy with how it turned out. I look like I'm getting sleepy. 

Z looking very tired towards the end of the night. Actually, he was getting irritated at the harmonica the musician was trying to play. 

Ok, so these are a few pictures of the Boyfriend's shoebox birthday cake. I knew he'd rather have something dense and chocolate in lieu of a regular birthday cake. I still felt strongly that everyone needs a cake to blow out the candles. I made this out of a Nike box. I made fake frosting out of tissue paper and clued marshmallows with candles in them on top. He really liked it. For his present I got him a Johnny Cash Box Set - The Legend. 

This is the boyfriend with his cake before he blew out the candles. 

The inside of the Boyfriend's shoebox birthday cake. I bought two peices of AMAZING chocolately cakes from La Dolce Via. I bought them on Dining Out For Life Day because they were giving 50% of that days profits to my agency. Plus, the Boyfriend used to study there and really likes the owner. Oh, don't forget the two brownies crammed in there too.