Gray

I'm not in a bad mood, but I'm certainly not in a good mood. You ever have one of those days where an issue brought about by someone else weighs on you and causes you to question your self-worth? I wish I were a stronger person so that it didn't happen, but I'm not - I care what people think about me, whether I agree with them or not.

There are a couple things that have helped me crawl out of the funk. Last night I was completely heart-broken. I was like lying-in-bed-at-8:00-and-ready-for-bed heartbroken. The Boyfriend was fantastic in listening to me without trying to fix the issue (I can appreciate a good shoulder to cry on every now and then). We unanimously agreed that I needed to call M and get her involved. I called her and the grayness began to thin. Her passionate belief in my value as a human allowed a complete turnaround in my evening. Her humorous and supportive emails throughout the day today gave me a booster shot of positive energy.

This goes without saying...but my posse of my mom and sister were on call and prepared for action. I probably talked to them more in the last two days than in a typical week. There's just something about female relatives to make you feel like you have a "crew". Who'd have thought that I'd have a crew?

What's something else that helped throughout the day? Downloading fonts. Yeah, that's right, I'm a hoarder of fonts. I went to this site with one hundred million (probably less than that, but I could never work through all they have) awesome fonts and picked out a dozen or so and saved them to my computer. I've done this before with life-altering results. I get the excitement of designing something and when I go to select a font I'm like, "Oh my goodness...there are new fonts in here!". I'm a geek (but this font thing is a true story...and you too can become a fontophile by going to www.dafont.com).

The third thing that's made me feel more pink or red than gray is that fact that I have amazing people in my life. A phone call from C in the middle of the afternoon just to chat and make plans to meet for dinner. I feel good that he picked me to share 15 minutes of his day with. He then picked AT LEAST an hour more to eat with me on Sunday. That's some investment, folks.

I'm not feeling so heartbroken today. I'm not as alone as I thought I was yesterday. I have people I can go to and they love me even though I'm flawed (I don't say that in a self-deprecating way...you're flawed too!).